Sometimes when I see a man I get sad. I look at him and think how I will never be him. I’ll never be able to hold my girlfriend’s hand in public and not worry who’s looking at us. I’ll never have a woman look at me like I’m her big strong protector. The thing that bothers me most is I’ll never be able to give the women I marry a baby.
so my mom left me and my sister home alone for the month so
I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.
I want all of the advertising to be for the hero and none of the marketing to even allude to this death.
imagine all the male tears
After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.
The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.
The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.
Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.
Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”
When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.
Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”
what did i just read
Irish women are strong as fuck
I’m Irish and I can conclude that we are motherfucking metal
Is this fucking real!?
remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason
i get high self esteem when a cat that hates everybody else ends up liking me
Instead of leaking celebrity photos we could leak pdf versions of college textbooks? Idk just an idea
That is the opening of a portal to another dimension and you cannot tell me otherwise
|—||Unknown (via bl-ossomed)|
Sorry for my drunk handwriting but I found this in my pocket from last night.
SEE THESE ARE MY WORDS. STOP MAKING NEW POSTS WITH THIS
I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.”